The sweetest d-bag John Mayer does it again with The Search for Everything: Wave One, also I came again. Oops. AND THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST WAVE.
I think the secret to John Mayer is that he’s just completely unashamed of his human deficiencies and instead celebrates them… He’s able to show himself as so damn relatable yet his lack of fear is what separates him from the rest of us. Then again, that’s what most artists aim toward. So perhaps his real secret is that he’s just a musical genius. Curse that blessed soulful bastard… making me feel things while taking my money… DAMN YOU MAYER. DAMN YOU. WHY MUST I COUNT THE DAYS UNTIL YOU FINALLY ANNOUNCE YOUR NEXT GOD DAMN TOUR?
“Moving On and Getting Over” – Signature Mayer starts off the first wave of The Search for Everything by coming in with them sexy guitar sounds. Unlike some artists that just like the sound of a sexy guitar, this man straight-up wants to display his skills as well as show off what he’s come up inside of that sexy mind of his. And also the opening flutey gumball poppy sound is amazing and is what gets me obsessed. As the song implies with little ambiguity, Mayer has been thinking a lot about being obsessed. Yes, the man that has possibly millions obsessed with his sound, his behavior and as well as his dating life is just as obsessed with himself. If you’re a John Mayer fan, you should automatically feel able to relate to him ‘cause he’s the biggest fan of himself. Trust, I’ve heard a concert recording of “Stop This Train” where his commentary is about how he’s so happy to open for himself:
“It’s a real honor to be opening for myself this evening. I ran into myself backstage and I was very kind. I mean I’m huge, the headliner. And I was very nice to myself. I gave myself a few minutes of conversation. I didn’t think it was small talk. It was very nice. I can say the guy that is coming on here is a very nice guy. I love you too.”
I can assure you that he was not saying,“I love you too,” to the crowd. Nah, he was speaking to himself. ‘Cause he loves that ass of his. Of course, that was recorded about 10 years ago, but there ain’t no god damn decade where this guy doesn’t wanna fuck himself. If John Mayer could clone himself just to REALLY tell himself that he’s boss, he’d probably spend half his fortune to do so.
Okay, so maybe I’m being too harsh on his self-obsession. Maybe he is thinking about a lover that he just cannot get over. Probably not Taytay because he definitely hates that her. But then would it be the bi-curious Perry? Meh. Maybe it’s a sweet hometown girl? Or is he too far removed from that era of his life? Whatever it is, this metaphorical chick he’s talking about has got him as fucked up as he’s got himself fucked up. “I feel you all the time.” All the fucking time. Or he’s just talking about moving on about each of the qualities that he likes about himself. Like, he is super into the fact that he got with this person at some point, but he also thinks that he should move onto the next person.
“For all my running, I can understand
I’m one text away from being back again
But I’m moving on and I’m getting over”
Selling yourself real short here, but hey, at least you’re honest. He cannot get over that he got with that one chick at some point in his life ‘cause he is, at the drop of the hat, ready to dive right back into that. The sexy ending is a great ploy to pretend that he finally is getting over the chick but let’s face it… he’s still REALLY into her and though he keeps telling himself that he’s gonna move on… he’s still super not getting over her.
Most people try to combine the two: moving on comes hand in hand with getting over… but not for Mayer. He has to purposefully separate the two because he is honest with his inability to get over this person and thus can only move on physically yet still hold on to every last memory and thus not getting over the emotional investments. Hahh… If only I could love myself half as much as this John Mayer guy loves himself. Maybe I can achieve that if I too go on The Search for Everything. And by Everything, I ultimately mean all the connections to the self.
“Changing” – Get your country ass outta here. Jk, please keep making more of these. Or dive into another genre, I don’t really mind as long as you keep your muse. Starting with the grand piano, it sets up a slightly serious tone emphasized along with his classic mellow Mayer voice. He only nails the country in with the start of the guitar strums. As the song progresses further the momentum builds to change the pace of the song which is self-reminiscent of what is needed to create change in worldly matters: the various events of the world collide to push forward new events. Mayer has been cultivating his uppity yet bluesy folk stories every since he started popping out albums every few years. He tapped into his key storytelling since before even the acclaimed Continuum and has since dabbled… heavily into the American midwest country influence with his departure from Battle Studies into Born and Raised and Paradise Valley. I have enjoyed his musical journey since he has always been such an old soul with so much depth to impart onto the listener. It seems natural that he has gone into the sounds that touch the heart more purely, or these so called redneck sounds. Sure, I always enjoy his more infectious poppier beats such as the previously discussed “Moving On and Getting Over” or “Vultures” from Continuum but the dude has always been into the country twangs as early as “Why Georgia” in Room for Squares. If anything, he’s subtly (but not really that subtle) asking his fans to accept that he’s changing. He’s allowing himself to dive further into these country muses; in other words, he’s asking us if it’s cool that he’s trying to buy a Nintendo Switch with a special edition of Zelda: A Breath of the Wild. Or maybe he’s talking about how people settle down to create a family but he’s still got too much to learn about himself and others and the human heart. Chase that sun Mayer… ‘cause it’s following you.
“Love On the Weekend” – Jesus Christ this single is still making me feel even after 2 solid months. I wish I were wearing panties so there’d be something to drop after I wet myself. Been wishing that for the past 2 months and still no answer. WHY DON’T YOU REPLY TO MY EMAILS, JOHN? DEAR JOHN, SEND ME PANTIES. God, I never thought singing “It’s a Friday[…]” in the beginning of a song could be good, at least not after that whole Rebecca Black fiasco of 2012. Anyway… yes Mayer, of course you can go play Zelda over the weekend on that Nintendo Switch of yours. You deserve it. Go ahead, grill some fish in the wild. Slay some wild boars, I’m sure you’re kinda getting over slaying mad pussy. Oh wait… you’re totally not over slaying ‘cause this song is probably what you’re gonna be using to further your slaying of mad pussy. Well, John Mayer, you can slay my mad pussy as long as you keep churning out beauties like this. I too wait for the next time we can go on another “serotonin overflow.”
“We found a message in a bottle we were drinking
Love on the weekend[…]
I hate your guts ’cause I’m loving every minute of it”
That message was, “You two should fuck. And the whole hating your guts thing is actually code for, “I’m gonna churn your insides with my penis.” Yup, John Mayer makes endless love, not only to women but also to all of our ears. Did I ruin this song for you? That’s too bad ‘cause it just made the song 100% better for my ears. Like the Mayer, my ears, they too are on the Search for Everything… Wave One.
“You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me” – What is this, the theme to Toy Story 5? These beautiful whistles got me in tears. Like God have mercy on my young soul. Please. I. Just. Can’t.
These metaphorical facts that he brings up aren’t all set in stone, as sturdy as they may seem. The big bang may have happened but who will know of its possibility or existence when the universe implodes? Perhaps because a simple life form like a human was able to recognize it… its magnificence stays in the human heart and thus that glorious bit of information goes on into the afterlife. The dinosaurs were having a solid time before those meteors destroyed their ecosystem. Yet the earth equalized and their remains of stardust are now in us humans. The moon and its grip on the sea won’t be so true if the Sun ever gets a chance to vaporize it out of our earth’s existence.
“Life is full of sweet mistakes
And love’s an honest one to make
Time leaves no fruit on the tree”
These seemingly timeless pieces of advice are too imparted from memory into musical form and are meant to live forever.
“And when the pastor asks the pews
For reasons, he can’t marry you
I’ll keep my word and my seat”
And here, Mayer once again signifies the distinction between Moving On and Getting Over. Christ, he’s really into her. The one pussy John Mayer tried to slay, but the pussy ended up slaying the Mayer. The pussy that lived, as they say.
Yet, despite these endings, each majestic idea or person or thing that had imparted its influence lives on. Perhaps they live through Mayer’s thoughts and existence. And through him, he has made them live forever in song as a poet would do. And from there if it’s played through the radio, perhaps those electromagnetic waves will pass through undissipated throughout the universe and one day an Alien might find itself intrigued by this little gem to give further life to its ideas. Don’t be selfishly sad when someone departs, for you should be in joy that they had graced you by coming into your life.
As I lay in wait for the Second Wave… chillin’, Mayer’s doing all the hard work on this, The Search for Everything.
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