Home Features Dating for Dorks: Stereotypical Computer Programmer

Dating for Dorks: Stereotypical Computer Programmer

by Kat Liu

So I’m your stereotypical computer programmer, not sure how to get girls. My friends say I should flaunt my programmer at a startup status. What do you think?

– Marc Zuckerburger

Photo by Neil Bui.

Photo by Neil Bui.

Dear Marc Zuckerburger,

I think your friends are on the right track, but don’t take their advice TOO literally. First, don’t flaunt anything. And by that I mean, don’t lead in with “Hi! I’m X, I work at _____ as a programmer. Wanna hear how cool my life is? I get all my meals catered, free massages, and all the Red Bull I can drink on a daily basis!” Wait for her to ask. Be an engima. The trick is revealing just enough so that she wants to get to know you better. Put it another way, create a situation where she is prompted to ask you questions in which she gives you the spotlight, so you can humble brag away.

For example:
The scenerio: You’re at a bar and you catch the eye of a sweet lady standing a couple feet away from you. She’s waiting for a drink and somehow the bartender decided to serve you first before her. You order two beers and shimmy a couple feet down the bar so you’re standing right next to her. Offer her the beer and open with something like…

You: They gave me an extra one. Shrug and smile while sliding her the cold brew. You want?

Her: Gives you a uncertain smile… unsure whether to take the beer or not.

You: Be your adorkable self and feign exasperation. “Okay, sorry. I lied. I ordered two beers because I wanted an excuse to talk to you. I probably should’ve just manned up asked you if you wanted a drink before barging in on your space and shoving a beer under your nose.

Her: giggles and seemingly lets down her guard a little bit. Because, who doesn’t love an underdog? She takes the beer and sips on it.

You: You can probably tell I don’t get out much. My job has me working 24/7 and everyone I work with has only one X chromosome.

AND THAT’s IT. Do not, I repeat, do not start rambling about your cool job, the free snacks, and the segways at your work. You’ve given her just enough information to test the waters. If she’s into the whole beauty and the dork thing, she’ll bite. She’ll ask about where you work, what computer languages you know, and what your rank is on League of Legends. If not, you know that any extra information about your dorkiness will probably, if not certainly, be a turnoff. If that is the case, reevaluate. Do you want to tailor the rest of your conversation to cater to what you think she is looking for in a guy? Or should you leave the lady with her beer, post up in your corner of the bar with your friends and wait for another bite? Someone who you hope gets turned on by the words C++ and Python.

Thanks for reading this article!

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